Ok, finally got around to changing the introduction text. But as you can see, I'm too sianz to write a proper one, so am going to blabber on in hopes that you will get an idea of what sort of person I am by guessing. Yeah, the format of this blog is crap. I haven't got around to fixing it. Later lah.. Much later...
I only request one thing from the people I love - that they need me as much as I need them.
Once I feel that I occupy an insignificant position in a person's life, I cease to care about them. I don't care whether they die, I don't care whether they live. I will do what society requires of me. I will laugh in their company and cry at their funerals. But deep down inside, it will hardly matter to me either way.
I cannot love a person who doesn't need me around. Sometimes I feel, that my absence would make no real difference - I as a friend, a daughter, can be easily replaced by another. If it doesn't make a difference whether I'm there, then it doesn't make a difference to me whether you're there.
That's why I say I'm not capable of unconditional love. I have a condition to my love. I can forgive lies, backstabbing and betrayal, but not this.
Why? Because it is the key to my emotional stability. I place my emotional needs only in the hands of people whom I know I can trust. In a mutual emotional contract, I feel secure.
I'm very judicious in giving out this contract. I have the ultimate love for those I have given this contract to. I too love those whom I haven't given the contract to - albeit at a lesser level. But for those who break the contract, I have no love.
ME signed off at 9:09 PM
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
78th entry
I only go jogging when I'm feeling unhealthy or stressed.
Currently I'm at the first.
But for the second, a sudden urge to go jogging always strikes me when I'm feeling stressed - usually at midnight when I'm rushing assignments. Jogging is such a miserable hell, that it serves as a wonderful reminder that there's nothing in e world that I'd rather not do as compared to jogging. After I'm done, I have so much more motivation to do whatever it was that I was supposed to be doing before I went jogging.
Ahhh... the joys of jogging - all about the destination and nothing about the run.
ME signed off at 2:24 AM
Friday, April 24, 2009
77th entry
I hate:
People who self-importantly do things for others when in actuality they are doing it for themselves.
For example:
#1 People who insist on helping me when I don't want, or need, the help. Who is reaping the benefits I don't know, because it's definitely not me.
#2 People who tell me: No offense, but I'm going to tell you something that is completely offensive and will make you feel real bad, when in actuality you don't need to hear it and even if you do the information is of absolute tosh,
because I'm a person who is 'straightforward' and 'honest' - and the truth is a diamond-encrusted Holy Grail.
A.k.a I just feel like blabbing coz it makes me feel better.
#3 People who compliment me with no basis and wait to see the effects of their compliment. If you give me a compliment like you are giving a gift, then I don't want it - because it is fake.
ME signed off at 8:03 PM
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
76th entry
I can never understand why some girls bother to have relationships with guys who are obviously a waste of their time. And in this, I don't mean that e guy is an idiot, moron, asshole, airhead, cheater, liar, egoistic, bore, full of bullshit, tactless, heartless, brainless.. garden ornament.. shows more interest in WoW than you..
none of which I'm implying in any remote way whatsover way that most guys are.
Really. . . . . . .
No, really. . . . . . .
Trust me. . . . . . .
No, I'm not being sacarstic.. . . . . . .
No I'm not lying. . . . . . .
Why would I be lying? . . . . . .
Are you trying to say I'm not an honest person? . . . . . .
You can see I'm such a nice person right? . . . . .
Right? . . . . . .
Right? . . . . . .
Right right right? . . . . . .
Why am I doing this? . . . . .
Coz I just feel like wasting your time that's why. . .
Back to my original topic.
Anyway, what I meant by guys who are a waste of time, are guys whom you know you're obviously never going to marry, but you date anyway.. Like you know he is completely wrong for you.. then doesn't my argument hold? That you're just wasting your time?
Ahah.. you see.. I didn't just do the wuliao exercise for nothing.
It had a PURPOSE. Really. No really. You don't believe me? Why? You really don't believe me? So you really reaaly don't bel...
Anyway back to my original topic.
Sometimes I think some girls just need to have a bf.. Like it's their plate of charkwayteow or something.. Like you don't really care for the charkwayteow before you, but you eat it anyway because it's there and it doesn't taste too bad.. and you need to eat SOMETHING, and you don't like the laksa stall..
